Do you want a self-baptism mind? Do you want to re-examine their own personality? Then to you taking the time to read this article in patience. No need to explore the real story, because this society has not ;, can not withstand real scrutiny.
(a) moved into this house from the houses of the first day, I began to suspect that the storage room next to me who did not live. all day Heiqu Qu, and not the slightest sound.
I finally can not stand the break room couch, and then again with the landlord asked, can I put some debris into the storage room next door. landlord Xiezhuo Yan, groaned: told you how much times? that a pair of rented storage room a couple of migrant workers, which were inhabited!
am I seen all the Cantonese Stingy, are not going to touch on the nose and gray.
day I come out the garbage, after storage room door, I heard there gowns gowns winded winded, and came, not from one, and I know for sure is big rat in there **. I fiercely kick in the door on, do not vent to another Mengchuai foot.
door creaked open, and I was shocked. I thought I kick the door is broken; are uneasy when a woman's head sticking out, precisely, should be a girl or young woman, from the fluffy ponytail and her childish face, and some I really can not judge her age.
gently asked her: you turn to?
I froze , and stay there, do not know what to say.
this time a boy has some wretched Couzhuo stretched out his head, hesitated a moment: You are right next door?!
I suddenly wake up, and said: Yes, ah, �� ah.
boys grinning proudly say: I saw you last came back from work.
the air around screeching stop there, embarrassed. I quickly said : Sorry, sorry to disturb you. then quickly slipping into his own door. I heard they shut the door gently voice heard them whispering voice, as if to say: It is not our usual movement too, wake the neighborhood? then we should pay more attention to it! to the group.
I drink some water, calm down, I believe, that the storage room is really dark all day long lived in both people, both men said that perhaps the landlord couple of migrant workers.
I suddenly sneered a bit, but couple it, a look will look like 20 years old, eloped out? or newly married husband and wife? unconscious smiled, self-mockery of the thought: Why migrant workers, rural out, early marriage in general. That seems to be called later, the man, that woman. so I thought, but also irrepressible laughed aloud.
The first contacts with this husband and wife because I forgot to bring the key, not enter the door, they find they have borrowed tools, trying to pry the doors open.
That was my first real knock on the door, is the first time to patronize the dark storage room.
door opened, and they seemed surprised to see my wife, rushed to let me into the room. I explained what he wanted, the couple turned to find guys to go. The door was open, inside the black Hu Hu, I could not help but took a step inside. do not know what foot stumbled, I thought it was a rat, scared, The lodge exudes a small dim lamp light bulb I'm sure it does not exceed 10 watts. I wonder where they get that from the light bulb, in such a southern city where I really can not think there will be Buy this bulb. I guess maybe that they might have brought from home.
I look at this I have wanted to put debris into the storage room. I estimate the most luxurious, the room is not will be more than 10 square feet. no one around windows, doors, ventilation and access is the only place. the room exudes a musty wet, into the throat, feel sick. I can not help a stride back out.
but I clearly see that the room except for a single wooden bed and scattered on the floor of the pots pans plates, really do not have any pins in place, I really admire that young couple is how to stay inside life.
Finally, the couple find their cooking knives, and the only one possible tool to open my door, went to great lengths to help me get the door open. < br> The door opened, I do not have any meaning for them to come. They stood in the doorway to the door. tiptoe, a shy look, looked at my Bedroom house. woman finally said one sentence: You've never seen how Mr. ah? I startled a straight face said: I'm not married. woman blush, it seems wrong, then head down, afraid to talk to each other. man I'm sorry to say; that You live so much of a house ah. I did not answer.
two people, half the day did not speak. I do not know who should see my computer in the living room, he could not help saying: you have a computer too!
I thought a slightly Deng, migrant workers also understand the computer? I said: ah, you will access Why?
man scratched his head skin, said: When our university, there are computer classes, went to machine. < br> My whole body a burst of wind, cold, college? they are college students? Ah, but how to see how unlike!
my heart feel somewhat cheated, deliberately Q: What kind of work you do now? you what school graduate? read what professional ah?
they sip a Minzui, a little bit embarrassed, I thought instrument allows to expose to you, hypocrite!
man suddenly spoke: we read, the school is not good , which is a third-rate university, I told my wife is a university fellow, she read the arts, I read science. Now I do salesman, she a waitress in a restaurant.
I Pieliaopiezui, loss, wondering if they have heard me mention the key universities ** the name of the University.
(b)
well known, enrollment in recent years, college students can be said to climb over and over. University of easy to read, but employment Quenan more. third-rate university graduates, workers do not even really like, not to physical strength, to mental and not enough on the grid. and third-rate university tuition fees and not necessarily low, and even much higher than the good university I know a lot of third-rate university tuition fees prohibitively high.
see this young couple, out in rural areas is estimated at first they may not know, spend the family savings, this paper obtained a diploma in the original society may be nothing. saddled with a debt, out of work know, the original third-rate university students can not graduate with the primary school meals by migrant workers is a physical level, are life than thin paper, cheap than life The.
next day, though my heart was still speculation that they gave me a knife so good breaking technology will one day while I'm not so skilled will easily? but the total still feel that others are helped busy sorry to buy several kilograms of fruit to them carry the South in the past.
they seemed flattered, do not say anything. I told them that it is the rule here in Guangzhou, find someone to help the busy, we must express , and do not accept that do not give me face. They just accept the fear and trepidation of.
not after a while, they knock on my door. I think that they are the fruit and give back the results after open The first sentence says: Excuse me, this fruit can put up to how long? my surprise at them, was a little gas, I thought: Do they think I bought them the fruit of date? I was about to attack, they added a : What can home into the New Year? I froze, they said: the New Year bring back nothing, it certainly is not cheap fruit, right? we want to go back to when the New Year bring back the goods that year. I am a bit dumbfounding said: Guangzhou, the heat, can not put that long, and one to have bad weeks.
they are a bit helpless, simply said thank you, and went away.
but I clearly heard: the men said to the woman: Why do not we want to way left to Aug. 15, playing the greedy right for the holidays.
month after the August 15 Lunar New Year, each unit made a moon cake box of high-level, get back, I opened a taste and feel difficult to eat, wanted to lose.
through the storage room door, I changed my mind, thinking has lost a pity, they are so poor, it is better to give them a good holiday.
watching the door Xu Yan, I'm not knocking, pushed straight to Niche and dim the lights on, two men squatting on the ground, the men are being carefully cut a small moon cake, a slightly larger point is preparing to give his wife to eat , see me standing in the doorway, a loss for words. woman was already being gnawed down a little bit bad fruit, and eat with relish, I saw she did not peel, guava and dragon fruit are is eaten with the skin.
man spent five seconds, and quickly make a slightly bigger piece of the moon cake give me to eat, I said I do not eat moon cake, and then declared his intentions. put on the box of moon cake the door ready to go. a woman called to me: Sister, I do not know what to say, you see, we eat the fruit but also you give, you gave us to send moon cake, I do not know how to repay You, and had her husband today, the company sent him a moon cake, and we talk about how you sent, but a Nabuchushou, no nerve, we have nothing scarce, you have what matter would help, and certainly should squeak soon ah!
I knew it was her husband made a moon cake, and I only know that she ate the fruit I gave them a month ago. I was going to say: eat dragon fruit to Flayer . But I suffered a bear, did not say it.
(c)
weekend, the woman next door to knock on the door and asked me what do they do to help, and I laughed and said no. her sharp-eyed to see my mountain of dirty clothes lying on the sofa, have to help me to wash, I say a washing machine, one will lose it wants to go, do not bother. She stood there embarrassed, looks like I am sorry, do not know what to do.
my first, very warm inviting her to the door, sit down. She Tuo Lexie, barefoot Yazi, into the door. jittery, seems to be afraid of my dirty floor, not step down hard. She should know that I have actually no more than a week grazed the floor of the.
She told me that she is off duty, had wanted to do something to help me, but did not think did not make. She seems to be ashamed of, the answer has been Xishengxiqi my words. She stayed with me for half an hour, told me their situation, to say those words when she has been very gentle, as if saying a story, did not I felt her blame and resentment.
I gave her back the cup of mineral water, she clutched in his hand, before leaving, she looked at me, I nodded, she took the disposable paper cup and that cup of mineral water. I guess, she left her husband wanted to drink.
I learned from today, they are like:
two rural out of the child, parents are one-third acre of land guarding the authentic farmers, annual household income, never more than 2,000 poor families, they are admitted to the same third-rate universities, tuition is the parents need to eat or drink for each of the 5-year family income. can not afford to read books, do not want to go, the parents refused, saying it was the only time the opportunity to change the fate of rural children, kneel down to beg you to read. to read, and no money to pay tuition fees, at any rate have a student loan, and finally With excellent results apply to, but when they graduate because there is no pay off the loan is not issued diploma. four-year scholarships for the cost of living is to rely on the support down hard. In the end, hard to pay but not in that paper for graduation cards. So the two can only be out of work to earn money, save enough money can go back to redeem diploma.
They rent the cheapest house in the city, eating the cheapest food in the city, and led the city's most impoverished life, but throughout the year, down less than 1 million still save money. this continues, we must also complete two years of the loan but also 8.
I do not know 8 years of a young person what it means, nor know that 8 years later there is also the right to buy their organic diploma. But I know that 8 years of this life, not just which individuals can sustain is maintained in!
(d)
day I came back, a little late, the corridor has been started to turn on lights, and through the next door, to see their doors open, the house still is Heiqu Qu, the men squatted in clinging to the door, breathing noodles, eat very sweet. I say one thing: light broken? he first hesitated a moment, then smiled Han Han: Not yet, power, anyway, the lights lit corridor, open the door, the room is also quite bright. I laughed. I knew, no wonder they do not turn on the lights the room every day.
night their doors have been open until very late. I can be vague in the living room to hear their conversation.
First they talked about the will, the addition of this month, how much was spent, and what's too fast with soap and water too wasteful, last birthday should not buy that 2 pounds of meat, vegetables of the future Water can wash your face, wash water can wash feet, feet of water can wash your socks, wash your socks in the water can flush the toilet so that kind of thing.
their side with their own money too much self-blame, while but could not help but look forward to a bright future.
they imagine in the near future, perhaps over money, you can have a baby, maybe in the future it could save to buy a house before.
listening to their excited whisper, I did not sleep long.
middle of the night, I heard men shouting stomach pain, as if the pain is very fierce look, ? man said if tonight to eat more, insisted on the. woman rushed up to greet him on the toilet.
man hesitated for a long time, seems not to want to go, quite a while, I heard the man speak: I do not want to go to the bathroom, the toilet flushing water we save is not enough, the water again this month as cost overruns. say that again, using the toilet, pull empty stomach, hungry at night is easy!
heard here, I head H of the bit, blank, my heart was pulling the raw so raw so that phrase has become a nightmare for me all night: pull empty stomach, I am afraid hungry!
(e)
hear that sentence, my heart shocked. I thought of my grandfather.
grandfather living in the hardy old society, in the hungry, clothed society, throughout the year, children desperately looking forward to New Year because the New Year to get fed!
Therefore, every child in the New Year day, the food stays in the belly bulge round yo, no matter how belly up, not willing to go to the toilet. as to the toilet, pull air the stomach, will be easy to feel hungry, but had done, is no chance to get fed it! so each child is simmering, or suffer because of that time, the poor, hungry people are afraid, more afraid of hungry children !
But in the 21st century, so advanced age, you actually graduate from the mouth of a university to hear the case, how would you feel? moved? grief? or sad? or helpless lament?
are probably, maybe not!
I have no time for a weak state of mind, because society is so, I can not do anything. I sympathize with the only addition to that, or perhaps only sympathy.
I once despised However, even had insulted in the bottom of my heart: deserve, why did not you test a prestigious university can not hack it! money ass read the book, to ourselves!
but I have to admit, a mountain boy, is not just to the intelligence will be able to climb up the threshold from prestigious universities; that require capacity, strength. strength, sometimes in addition to a good education, good teachers, there are many, many, such as the money piled tutorial, such as children can only town to enjoy a full range of education, but also such a powerful and influential parents.
they do not, they are rural children who have no qualifications and rights, no one buy them all kinds of counseling information, and no the country's outstanding teachers to teach their hands, they have not seen the piano, never seen a computer, they even apart from village party secretary, did not know any one can claim the leadership cadres.
they will look fat all day long The only books that only hard school, knew only admitted to the university to change their destiny.
listening to their broken English, very fluent in Mandarin, and some sloppy dress, worn clothing out of date We will not help but laugh.
we like in the back of their other up, like the lady ineffectively as it pretended to ridicule their ignorance, even like when you want to eat McDonald's deliberately asked them to go. used to see them embarrassed, used to look at their helplessness, but also used to get more than they lose.
When we have a lot of this habit, so we started to not care, they are not hungry, is not in our waste of food, they also silently in the bottom of my heart: not go to the toilet, fear of pulling empty stomach, hungry! facts.
! how matter sorted out in rural areas than urban children do? no more than necessary! .
who they really points of rank or grade it? who points? you Why??
(VI)
Guangzhou, security is getting worse, to live this private ones, are really taking a life-threatening. but now I can not find a suitable house to move, only for the time being in the forefront of the battle.
the whole building a dozen landlords, they are too lazy to turn on duty every day, around the mahjong table, and Anyway, do not steal what is their home. Finally, several of our tenants argue, the good and evil brought in a security.
I returned from work to see the noisy downstairs, turned out to be a security caught suspect. I am curious glance, this man is none other than live next to me that looks a little insignificant man. his head down, trying very hard to explain: they are not thieves, they are living here.
But no one believes him, because when security asked him to live a few buildings, which room, 6th floor, he only said, but could not say the door number. because the storage room is no house number the!
him like a scared bad boy, frightened eyes glanced around to everyone, listening to Jiliguala the Hakka dialect, he was unable to explain the final doom like a person struggling.
I instinctively walked over, he saw me, his eyes full of hope, some with tears in their eyes flashed appreciated. I I was always raised his eyes look far away and found the people around staring at me.
I hesitated, and immediately stopped their was 8 cm high heels. I gently Lile Li himself pink dress, his face over the subtle hint of people panic and fear. I think he turned toward the stairs, as nothing happened. But how can I move my legs could not lift, I am a stalemate where half a second.
I tried a low voice, very politely restrained to say: how do you did not bring the key to it? is not and lost, so let a pest!
security release him, and I smiled and said: He is my distant relative. I'm sorry to give you trouble.
I turned away, stepping on my heels on the sharp floor, the corridor leaving a bunch of Soon, it seems that she was gone, I opened the door and saw them still standing in the doorway, holding a handful of peanuts and dates.
I stared at them, do not open the door, they did not dare say it is to me. but he kept the explanation: the afternoon that would be, he is to her husband several mineral water bottles in the downstairs pick it; to early to know not to pick, Yam said he did not go.
I wanted to interrupted her speech, telling them: not to prevent picking, is not your long people live in this building. but I refrained, and continue to listen to them.
they always head down, slow speaking softly, said: They also know the rules here, people do to help the busy, we must thank, but nothing could get the shot they are the things, which they send to meet fellow home to their house specialty, are their own species, never used chemical fertilizers, let me assure eat.
I opened the door, took a piece of paper and let them put it on a piece of the present A6 white paper.
peanuts and dates that I do not have to eat, I put there, watching. they are naked, glowing light, it is thought the look, the size of the head. is very full.
I guess, they must After a carefully picked the. It is estimated such a sack of peanuts dates to pick it.
thought of this, I laughed. not the General Assembly, I regret it, I should not laugh!
(seven )
landlord finally knocks on your door, and straight to the point of the first sentence is: Is it live in your home a new man? I hesitated for a good freshman will only think of it, may be the security told him.
I explained the whole matter a bit, and tried to persuade the landlord to the next door is also linked to a number, the landlord reluctantly posted on their doors to the paper, says: Clean tools repository.
few days later, the death of my college roommate and party and get to know her new boyfriend to Guangzhou for fun, I was forced to please the day off to accompany them.
casually looking for a restaurant would like to invite them to eat Cantonese food, Cantonese cuisine, but friends said did not taste, a few did not have to go exclaimed, then still had to go to the Hunan restaurant, be considered to meet their appetite. After dinner, all right, wandering the streets is not carrying a bag, and went to the . did you get to go get the song did not sing well, but also the delay.
night, came back, there has been too late. But I see the lights next door, the house also trained, trained in the coming sobbing sound.
I ignored that voice, opened the door to let friends into it. friend opened the door to the computer, put the song downstairs, could not. to knock on the door, let's movement dots. I closed the music, with friends about a young couple next door. friends thought I was telling stories, and saying boring, while on the To start smoking a cigarette touched. I hate cigarette smoke, because it can choke out the tears.
catch my friend out, let her smoke in the corridor enough to come back.
Ban Zhiyan work, friends, knock doom door, excited shouting the name of her boyfriend, that there will soon come out to listen to opera.
them both out, it would not be a sound. long before I came back.
friend came to my ears conspire says: you Do not prudish, is not it all right every night, and went next door to listen to music ah? I have not had time to react, they both laughed. endless, strange annoying.
Later, I learned , the original two of them is to go next door to listen to static and dynamic. As for what happened, I did not ask, but I think should be associated with the color.
not sleep at night pick up the God began to walk. was asleep daze, I seem to really hear the next movement, sound small, but very attractive.
friends spent less than 3 days, I began to weary, and I feeling that the quiet was broken in the past, and a single woman to see a pair of lovers in front of you swinging the intimacy, really easy stroke!
away to them, I began to get nervous, I often deliberately closed loudly, estimated security door opened and closed constantly, deliberately want to hear me next door temper, deliberately want everyone to know that I feel very bad.
young couple next door, or see me smile every time laugh, a bit shy embarrassed. man the other end a little bit messy hair greasy or still more or less suffused with dandruff on the hair, there is still a woman's ponytail fluffy rope in the back, somewhat like the fall of chaos fly leaf.
but I saw them, but did not laugh, is no longer a straight face, just nod blankly, with his powerful heel pounding the ground, hurried away.
each times looked down at their own 8-cm high-heeled shoes that, I feel the trance, in fact, this is not the heel, I seem not high!
then lost and depressed is endless!
(h)
there are so few days, that door has been closely related, and the house had also been no bright lights, take a look at my expense in the door, did not see anything inside. a few times I even listen hard to his ear, surprisingly did not hear any movement. I began to fear, fear that they moved quietly to.
I even began to complain about, why not take the time to say hello. I know what to do, and paced the room to go, tear down that blasted pillow, hard pounding the keyboard, reads some very harsh words, looked at with contempt for everything around them.
I found I had had not had so much emotion, and even said I should not be so emotional for many years. I suddenly sad together. seem to have lost something precious things, it seems that someone stole a copy originally belonged to my mood. I began to curse and began verbal abuse, began to hate the world.
every day I stood in the doorway, looking forward to when a man stood before me laugh, I can not help pointing to the door, hoping to see the inside of a ray faint halo of light glowing yellow. But several days, are not.
I finally went to find a landlord that a bit long-winded. I said I want to rent the storage room. landlord looked at me with surprise: you want to live? I frowned and said: I want to put the sofa. landlord seems a bit difficult: When do you want to rent? I am surprised by: Is it also living it? is not empty it is? landlord said: that on workers expire next month.
I suddenly kind of sense of joy, do not go? I stammered about her: that next month I rent!
so I go through that door when I am a bit happy, because I seem to see the inside of pots pans plate collision sound, because it seems I can hear them whispering.
day, I sleep early, I actually was not sleepy. But I or lying on the bed early, and I stared, looking at the ceiling, thinking there was a knock on my door to.
while the voice alerted me to open the door, though it sounds small, yet Mosquito buzzing Where no more. I was embarrassed, and hastened to cover up their own kind of excitement: back? how these days were not in? back home yet? woman looked at me quite a while, hesitant, said: awake it, Sister. no , did not it, did not return. something these days.
the first time she smiled and told me not to speak, is the first time not too much what to say, I'm into that day close watch on the storage room. < br> I froze there, long, long time before I could react. I suddenly want to cry, the kind of a little frustrated, a little bit to pay a lot of enthusiasm but was left out after the sad. But I did not cry out, nor tears, I just close the door, open the computer and started wandering around aimlessly.
night, I heard a man she works late, and loudly not know what to cook or clean up.
Listen came to that house has been the sound of a person, I am suddenly very strange, that men do?
I alone together, and feel the terrible loneliness, especially next to the monotony of the movement that, let me start to feel completely to the whole body cold.
I suddenly realized: the original one is so desolate, so sad and desolate. I bind tightly pajamas, but still can not dispel the midnight solitude.
(IX)
her seems a little embarrassed, at the door for a long time, there is no knock on the door, and no means to go, head down, as if pondering how the opening.
fact, for those simple words yesterday, the somewhat cold in the south city, nothing, courtesy seem extravagant, superficial is a matter of course each person's attitude around. But I could tell, she does not meet such people among whom the stranger cold and boring. Perhaps, she thought , where, or with the home. However, she simply, how can we imagine them in their native place, and people often speak of the impersonal.
I take the initiative opened the door and went out and looked at her and waited for her first opening.
she heard the door ring, suddenly raised his head, his eyes a little bit scared, a little embarrassed delight. She smiled, and I clearly see that her eyes red, swollen , and there are signs of crying.
her a slight nod: I'm sorry sister, you usually takes good care of us, yesterday, I feel bad, not good for your attitude, you do not worry. I have something to catch out nothing else to do, I go.
she turned around, I pulled her hand. The first time I did like the tone of a friend asked: the losers in the?
she was stunned , tear off the line as the same child, Pilipala the fall, all the grievances, depression, and heart pain, all with tears pouring down. I have no protection against her a lie on my shoulder, crying out loud. I did not refuse the ring gently took her, thinking how much this will probably share some of her great suffering.
She gently explained that I knew her husband in the hospital.
Her husband had to do sales, but because of the nature of stiff, not good at communication, so the performance has been poor, had to resign, and find another of the copies being doing physical work. As good physique, coupled with bad food, every day, very tired that day, to work, not careful by falling bricks smashed his head, was admitted to the hospital. would have thought that claiming for compensation, reimbursement of medical expenses will be flat, but the unit is not only whether, he also fired . savings are spent, and she had to pack back pack, and then to put her husband back from recuperate.
I took out a bank card, want to give her some money, temporary use, her life and death refused to swiftly The run down the stairs.
afternoon she and her husband came back, her husband's head wrapped in gauze, weakly look, see me, or out of the smile. looking at his short and thin look, I seem to think he look so wretched, though humble, very spiritual; though timid, very strong. I returned to him with a smile, this time, I laughed very true, very carefully.
day throughout the day, I feel very good. This is what I came to this city so much fun the first time, the first laugh so hard, care so much whether the first serious laugh.
day, I saw fell from his face mask, in front of me naked, bare dense white teeth weak moan, unable to struggle, unable to roar.
and I, then the casual, pick up the lighter, lit it .
(ten)
I carefully knocked the door of their home, the woman was not at home, went to work, the men trembling at the door, smiling at me silly, do not know how to I let the door.
I did not mean to go, so straight to the doorway, like chat, like, like with family and friends began to talk: What is the name your organization? Why should you go to work responsible for injuries injury medical expenses do not follow? what they have reason to fire you? in accordance with the I also read the university, I also know French, but useless! Who gave you protection? whom you discuss that? what this body, that body have been to, and worn more than taking, there is nobody! to unit owners hired thugs who are not disabled you are lucky to be playing, Moreover, to endure Dayton beat, in the end his own pocket to see a doctor, but worthwhile. Well, I think, and Who lacks social status, we do!
listening to his sighs, those who listened to his words, I seem to felt their childish, society is cruel, life is cruel. newspapers are counter-wage workers in mid-discussion to be beaten, dry living wage arrears, nobody injured by the scenes of news surfaced in my eyes . I suddenly began to clear, society is like this ...
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